we walk around...

...everyday. we sit in classrooms. we have conversations. some shallow. some deeper... some meaningful... and yet, those meaningful converstaions seem so repetitive. like sleeping, waking up every morning. like eating... the same meal, over and over again. meaningful conversations trying... constantly... to make sense, define.. find the meaning of our actions, decisions, feelings. of our lives. meaningful? maybe. but maybe just filling up time, trying to feel okay. feel right... in this confusing, complex, uncertain life of mine.

The End Of My Tunnel

Yes, I know, it's about time I update my blog. I don't know how many times I've apologized for not updating this page of mine frequently enough throughout these years. Though I've been pretty good at not missing a whole month before updating!!

Alright, no more excuses. But you see, I have nothing really to talk about. Or nothing insightful to share with you. Well... maybe that's not entirely true.

The last couple of years have been difficult ones. This past school year has been particularly stressful and challenging. Whether because it was work, school, family, relationships... or turning 21 and going through my quarter-life crisis... I'm not so sure. It was probably and very well likely that it was a mix of all of the above.

After desperately trying to hold on to what I cared for, I attempted to figure out whether the rest of the world, or just one single other person, agreed with me.. Or maybe, I was just trying to figure out whether I was right or wrong.

At the end of the day, I felt as though I had lost the battle. I was left with nothing but realizations that the world was not as rational as I thought it to be.

So what makes it okay? As I turned around, I saw my friends and my family, with arms wide open, ready to love and cherish me no matter how unpleasant I have been to be around. I was deeply touched by my little sister Jane, and my best friends Alex and Louis' honest confrontations, putting things back in perspective for me.

Of course, I have no regrets, and I still believe in many "realizations" I've come to over the past few months... However, I still believe in true love, in kindness, in friendship, in trust, in honesty... and in the beautiful world that we live in.

Now, it's summertime. There is not a single worry on my mind (well, at least no really worrisome ones), and I am ready to enjoy it at my full capacity. I have chosen my new direction, and so far, everything is going the right way.

Lesson of the day? There really is a light at the end of the tunnel.... you just have to persevere to get to it, no matter how long the tunnel is.

Letter to a Good Friend...

Dear Coffee,

I just wanted to write and express my gratitude to you, dear friend! You have been there for me through thick and thin, ups and donws, rain or shine... Any time I'm feeling tired, confused, stressed... there you are.

There to greet me every morning, you just have a way to wake me. Perfectly nice and hot and creamy... and always sweet to the right degree, you adjust to my mood like no other could. You comfort me, you soothe me... you never disappoint me.

You always give me good company. In a cafe, I can sit alone with you, staring out the window, enjoying the sun shine, reading a book... and you're always by my side when I'm cramming for my next test or when I'm in deep thought about the meaning of it all... You always offer the greatest atmosphere when I'm hanging out with a friend, catching up on what we've been missing in each other's lives. Of course, I love having you on a date so we can stay up real late, spurring great conversation... among other things. ;]

What can I say... I'm a coffee girl. I suppose there are many of us in the world.. but oh dear coffee, you are what I love. After a bad exam, when I don't give a damn... When I'm stressed or couldn't care less... I can feel my best and act like nothing in the world can bother me after this coffee girl's had her coffee.

So once again, thank you, coffee! I don't know what I would do without you.

See you soon ;]
Sherren

Truth

When I came by you said you'd love me to stay
Though something made me feel like I would be in your way
Did you feel the same? Were you playing a game?
Was I being insane?

When things weren't right I tried to look in your eyes
Though I could not tell whether you were telling me lies
What were you looking for? What kept you wanting more?
Should we have closed this door?

When we said goodbye we did not cry or fight
Though something tells me neither of us knew what was right
Did you reach for my hand? Did I misunderstand?
Did we make up our end?

The truth is I really miss you
The truth is I wanna wake up next to you
I fall asleep thinking of you
I fall asleep hoping I will dream about you

Has it been easy for you to forget?
Do you ever wonder if we've made a mistake?
Have we thrown away something really great?
Is it too late?
Is there anything to regret?

When things weren't right I tried to look in your eyes
Though even now I can't tell if you're telling me lies
Is this the better way? Will we be okay?
Is there more left to say?

The truth is I really miss you
The truth is I wanna wake up next to you
I fall asleep thinking of you
I fall asleep hoping I will dream about you