Saturday, January 29, 2005


Isn't it annoying when somebody claims to care for you...? When they call you too much, when they remember every single thing you say... it's as if they're trying too hard, as if they have nothing better to do. It almost sucks all the coolness out of them, and that's it--without further ado, you've labelled them as losers who are just too desperate for you to be their friend.

Time out. Can we please just take a second and turn around, look back and think? These poeple are probably the most amazing people you'll ever meet. Who else can really lay their hearts on the line this way? Who else would be willing to care for someone so passionately, so sincerely? Who else could call you a friend, and be a friend, your friend--a real one--right off the bat?

It's quite intimidating, really. Of course, it's bizarre and... almost imposing when somebody grants you that kind of commitment, that kind of trust and support. It's scary, really. You wonder why they treat you so well, why they need you so much, what they see in you. Next thing you know, your head inflates and becomes bigger than it has ever been whenever you're around them. If they care so much about you, it must be because they like you a lot. There's nothing you could ever do to ever make them feel differently. They look up to you; so obviously, that makes them... well, "not as good", "not good enough" for you.

So we act like complete morons around them, because there's no risk of coming off badly. Our nose is pointed up real high. Giving them the slightest trace of acknoledgement makes us heroes. I mean, it's hard enough to have to put up with them, so it's really something to not try to get rid of them.

Why do people who love and care for us so dearly bring out the devil in us? We're all terrified, really. How could we welcome a friendship this strong, this powerful? What if we're wrong about them, what if they turn out to be total freaks? Why do they assume that we're so great when they barely know us? What do they want from us? What do they expect?

I must say I really admire anybody who can love and care so recklessly, willing to take the risk and responsibility to call themselves somebody's true friend. Please pat yourselves on the back for being so courageous.

I'm not saying that we must all embrace every single person we meet. I'm just saying, please try. Try and give time to those who see how outstanding you are. Try and keep your feet on the ground. Try to listen. Try to understand where they're coming from. Try to not judge. Try to not be so scared.

Try giving them a chance.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

You and I Both

Was it you who spoke the words
That things will happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice and I'm
Looking on the bring side
And balancing the whole thing

But often times those words get tangled up in the lines
And the bright lights turn to night
Until the dawn it brings
Another day to sing about the magic that was you and me

You and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
What others just read of
Others only dream of the love, the love that I love

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unemcumbered, numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words than I have ever learned
And I feel so alive

Now you and I, you and I
Not so little you and I anymore
And with this silence brings a moral story
More importantly evolving, is the glory of a boy

You and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
What others just read of
And if you could see me now
Well that I'm almost finally out of

And it's okay if you have to go away
Just remember the telephone they're working both ways
And if I never ever hear it ring

If nothing else I'll think the bells inside
Have finally founds you someone else and that's okay
Caus I'll remember everything you sang

--Jason Mraz

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Unspoken Kindness

Somebody thinks that I should play Sandy. Somebody wants me back as the only returning ambassador this year. Somebody told me that if they had a daughter, they'd want her to be just like me. Somebody thinks that I'm going to have the most amazing boyfriend. Somebody said that I was a great writer. Somebody believes that I am talented.


At each and every single one of those... "exclamations", I couldn't help feeling so darn overwhelmed with flattery. I got that feeling of... "Oh my god, I can't believe you just said that to me...!" My eyes lit up, my heart beat faster, my stomach filled up with warm-fuzzy feelings, and my mind just had to think back and try to process what had just been said to me... It's great, really.

What I'm trying to say is... Somewhere, someone thinks you're amazing. They just didn't tell you. They just figured that you probably knew already, that somebody else probably told you. I mean, if you're an amazing person, you must know it, right? Sad truth is, the answer to that questions is "no".

So if you think somebody's great, let them know, will ya? And whenever you're feeling like... darn, there's nobody out there who sees all that I do, all that I am... well, think again. Because I can be sure that you are nothing but wrong on that statement.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

All I Need...

Hand me a mug of coffee,
A creamy one, a nice and sweet one,
Give me my scarf,
And let me sleep on my pillow,
That's all I need, really, that's all I need.

Just give me a hug,
A sincere one, a nice and sweet one,
Blow me a kiss,
And let me dream of tomorrow,
That's all I need, really, that's all I need.

Let me wake up with a smile,
A genuine one, a nice and sweet one,
Allow me to laugh,
Even for no apparent reason,
That's all I need, really, that's all I need.

Give me my coffee, my scarf and my pillow,
And I'll hug you and I'll blow you a kiss,
And I'll smile and laugh and say "remember this"
That's all I need, really, that's all I need.

Monday, January 10, 2005


Maybe it's the new year. I'm suddenly understanding it all much better.

I have taken on a new attitude about life. Well, I wouldn't say it's new. It's just... clearer than before. I know I've always been a positive person, and I take pride in that. But I must say that I still need to work on being happier. Don't we all?

We all know that it's better to smile. But for some reason, many of us choose to cry. You wake up from the wrong side of the bed. Suddenly everything is wrong. You miss the bus, you trip on your way to school, you fail a quiz, you realise that you forgot your wallet... and then, you find out that your zipper's been open since you went to the bathroom this morning. Next thing you know, instead of just having a bad day, you're having a bad week... or wait, a bad year, a bad life. Did you ever think that you might have barely noticed any of those things if only you had a different attitude? We all know all the inspirational quotes and sayings, we all want to be happier. But for some reason, many of us still believe that the grass is greener on the other side.

I've decided to live better. To live healthier, to live happier. I'm going to stop living for tomorrow, for what might've been, for what should be. No more "what ifs" and "if onlys", no more expectaions. I will live for today, for this moment, this second. I will surround myself with what matters. Family. Friends. I will passionately pursue all that I love and all that moves my heart. I will take care of myself, eat well, stay active. I will thoroughly feel every emotion and learn to grow. I will live for me.

I don't want to bother with the "rules" of society, with what they expect of me. I just want to trust my instincts. I won't try to convince anybody to live a certain way. I will only lead by example, offer my sincere advice, lend a helping hand, and hope to make a difference.

Matthew Ryan Hoge wrote in his movieThe United States of Lelandthat "most poeple don't have the inner strength to do good all the time," but I find it easier to be nice; it takes too much effort to hate, to be mad, to be upset, and to stay that way.

I will no longer be looking for that someone. As much as I believe in love, as much as I believe in sharing life with that one person that I adore, I believe that it'll all find me whenever it all finds me. I will simply live my life, love everything that I do, and greet everybody with a friendly smile along the way. If anybody likes what they see or want a little more, they can come knock on my door.

I've been inspired to just be happy. And I will be. I am happy. It's really just as simple as that. Just as easy as that. I've been aiming for the bull's eye of happiness for years. And I've been getting closer and closer as time goes by. Someone said, "there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way." Boy, they couldn't be more right. Do what you gotta do. Say what you gotta say. Treat yourself well, allow yourself to be the best that you can be. You owe it to yourself.

The new year was a great time to start living better, sure. But everyday is a new day; you shouldn't need to wait for a reason to start over. You can't put off something so important. It's never been so real.

What the heck, it's your life. Do what you please. It's all up to you.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Lemon Meringue Pie

Pulled in town about a quarter to three
Singin' songs from Spain at the top of my lungs
She said hey babe when she saw it was me
I went lookin' for he, she was looking for fun
Dancing in the kitchen with a wooden spoon
I couldn't see what she was makin' fron the other side of the room
I took a step inside and made myself a part of that night
Derek came home and we played guitar
Sam I am and star you are
She said, you always gotta read the box, but you always gotta read me right

We made some lemon meringue pie
It sucked but anyway
I would make it with you again anytime
We ate your lemon meringue pie
I suppose that I shouldn't lie
It's the only reason I came by tonight

We listened in her room to a song about shame
On you on me and on every little thing
Playin' with the words on the tip of my tongue
But that ain't all I can do with the tip of my tongue
Lickin' the lemon filling as it drips down the long neck of my beer
Everyone was laughing, but you just smiled from ear to ear and said
You always gotta read the box but you always gotta read me right

Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring would be like with you in my arms

--Jeremy Fisher

Monday, January 03, 2005

Holiday Season

Home sweet home--I miss (things that give me warm fuzzy feelings)...
  1. Mommy's homemade food
  2. Janey's hugs and kisses
  3. Waking up to a house full of people
  4. Having meals as a family
  5. Chatting on the living room sofa
  6. Being able to dry my hair all the way with a blowdryer that works!!
  7. Free laundry
  8. Being able to take a shower in a big bathtub and being able to hold the showerhead in my hand
  9. The house with multiple furnished rooms
  10. Laughs with Alex
  11. Conversations with Cat
  12. Hanging out with old friends
  13. Used CD and book stores
  14. The familiar streets of downtown toronto
It's funny. I hadn't gotten sick in a while. And when I got home, I immediately fell ill. It was as if my body knew it was okay for me to be sick, because somebody was going to be there to take care of me. As if it had been hanging on, all this time, until I got home.

2005 To-Dos
  1. Eat better. Cook more often. "You are what you eat" said my little sister.
  2. Spend more time with friends. It's what's most important after all.
  3. Be yourself, and let everybody know. Decorate your room, dress and express yourself the exact way you want to.
  4. Perform more. Get into more acting, singing, dancing...
  5. Do more for yourself. Take care of yourself.
Overall... improve your quality of life. Live happy. Feel. Care. Love. Be true. Be passionate. Be daring. Be proud. Be humble. Be smart. Smile. Cry if you want to. Laugh when you're done. Crash. Learn. Grow. Be yourself. Have no expectations. Dream. It's all up to you.

Happy New Year, everybody. May you all live passionately and feel all the love that surrounds you in this upcoming year.

Sherren xoxox